Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
