I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
you guys were way drunker than both of me
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Randomize
