Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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