everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
