Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
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