idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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