And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
