after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
