make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
