this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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