I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
