Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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