it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
