idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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