I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
And then the night went full on bisexual.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
