YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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