Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
