Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
