It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
