im gay
i know
yea but for you.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Randomize
