my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
