He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize
