ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
