i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
