I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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