I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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