we're blogging at a bar
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
