I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
