He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
