i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
