Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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