not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
