i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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