you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
