is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
