My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
