PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
