I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
