He uses pillows to masturbate.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
