wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
