just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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