u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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