I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
