We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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