Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
