wanna go halves on a baby?
It's Friday. Sex?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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