I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
