just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize