I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
