I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
