i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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