I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize