New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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