We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
