the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
