her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
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