Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
