Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
