So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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