Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
