Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
