She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
ugly people sure do ruin things
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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