nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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