Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
