so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
