"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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