My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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