Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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